You might start to feel invisible, bored, annoyed, or drained. Participants responded by rating themselves on a scale of 1 (not very true of me) to 7 (very true of me). The scariest part is that people with this disorder are hard to spot. Unlike ill-informed therapists who inadvertently invalidate their clients due to a lack of knowledge, narcissistic therapistsintentionally and maliciously invalidate you to gaslight you further. An example is someone taking credit for your work. The seducer narcissist. I was livid.I just pulled away from her and kept saying I was fine.I didnt want to scream at my own reception and cause a scene. Key points The covert narcissist fails to develop emotional empathy, self-awareness, or a stable sense of identity and self-esteem in childhood. Don't give someone with a narcissistic sociopathic personality the benefit of the doubt. Anxiety or depression. Assume that the way they make you feel now is the way they will always make you feel. Reconcile the differences between the narcissist's true self and their false self by identifying that it is part of their manipulation. Exploits and takes advantage of others to achieve personal ends, 8. When I was in tears about my cats unexpected death, she said Geez! Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) occurs more in men than women. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? And, I came to her when I was in the midst of a nervous breakdown. Narcissistic sociopaths are sometimes called sociopathic narcissists or sociopathic malignant narcissists. People with APD (sociopaths) may be put in court-ordered therapy but aren't likely to seek treatment independently as they don't believe they have a problem. They project and believe other people are envious of them. They are also especially preoccupied with feelings of inadequacy. They do not want you to have access to outside support or to those who may challenge their authority and guru-like status. Now, researchers believe they can reliably diagnose this personality disorder with just one question. American PsychiatricAssociation. Therapist Abuse And Malpractice FAQ. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition that typically involves a grandiose . Kerry Boyle D.Ac., M.S., L.Ac., Dipl. Read our, DSM-5 Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, DSM-5 Criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder, Traits Shared by Narcissists and Sociopaths, The Role of Genetics in Narcissistic Personality Disorder, The Signs of Grandiose Narcissism and How to Deal With It, How Sociopaths Are Different from Psychopaths. How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive, Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, Find a therapist who understands narcissism, Punitiveness Schema and Hidden Narcissistic Manipulation, Projective Identification in the Narcissistic Family, Research Shows Why Attractive People Are More Narcissistic, Grieving Twice: Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Checklist for Ending a Relationship With a Narcissist, The Relationship Between Narcissism and Bipolar Disorder. Most people assume that others have the same moral code as themselves. What would a prototypical narcissistic sociopath look like? If the person is new to you and they make you feel badly, you have the option of moving away from the friendship. She only knows one way to be and to do and it is always the right way. They live in the same city and state where I lived with my now ex-fianc abuser. However, you might not notice it at first. It may come out in abrupt anger or covert hostility. Believes he or she is special and unique, and can only be understood by, or should associate with other special or high-status people (or institutions), 5. Notice how they treat people who serve them, such as waiters and doormen, while sucking up to people of influence. Or you might be perplexed by the opposite: Someone might speak excessively negatively of themselves, seeming introverted and self-focused but not in a grandiose way. They can develop intense emotional attachmentseven appearing to "fall in love"and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection. According to attorney John Winer, partner at Winer, McKenna, Burritt & Tillis LLP, who specializes in therapist abuse cases, this breach of boundaries often occurs when one trespasses what is known as the therapeutic container. He writes: The therapeutic container is a term that refers to the way that psychotherapy is supposed to be practiced, that is, except in cases of analysis, the therapist should be sitting a reasonable distance away from the patient; there should be no physical contact other than a handshake or an occasional non-sexual hug; sessions should last for set periods of time and should occur in the office; there should be no intentional contact with the patient outside of the therapy office. Here's how to encourage leadership to create a more empathetic workplace if employees feel their needs aren't met. Identifying the narcissist's true self and their false self is key to resolving cognitive dissonance. 7 min . Even if these behaviors cause significant problems for this person, they may find it very difficult to stop the problematic behaviors. I finally started opening up, giving details, talking about my mom (warts and all). Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition describes nine overarching characteristics: Lacks empathy and. People with NPD can become depressed if they fall short of what they feel is ideal. It was absolutely devastating to go to someone for help when you are vulnerable, only for them to do you more harm and leave you more traumatized than what you were before seeing them.. Absolutely. The best you can do is help the person find behaviors that work well for them." YougottabeQuick 11. Lets dive into some of the more obvious signs, so you can get a good idea of what to look for. You'll try harder, but despite pleas and efforts, the narcissist appears to lack consideration for your feelings and needs. Destructive criticism like this only delays the healing process, causing retraumatization, deteriorating mental health, and a low sense of self-worth. Envies others or believes theyre envious of him or her, 9. Can diet help improve depression symptoms? As you read her story below, pay special attention to the appalling sense of entitlement this therapist exhibits, her need to paint a narrative that she is the sole source of happiness for her client, and her continual disruption of Lois special moments with her husband and other family members as she inserts herself into the narrative each and every time. Narcissistic Traits vs. NPD. But he says SINS could be useful in long surveys where researchers are worried that people will become bored and drop out before they have completed. Covert narcissists avoid the spotlight and prefer passive-aggressive means of controlling others due to their fear being exposed and humiliated. Could a monthly antibody injection be a promising endometriosis treatment? Narcissistic therapists are the ultimate covert wolves in sheeps clothing, donning a false mask of sincerity and altruism all while enjoying the control and power they have over their clients. Those who are narcissistic go into this profession for disturbingly different reasons: they are looking for sources of narcissistic supply (sources of attention, power, entertainment, and ego-stroking praise). As Dr. Neuharth points out, a narcissist is very much like a cult leader in how he or she ensures their victim is in an intellectual bubble of sorts, filtering out any information that threatens to overtake, undermine or compete with the narcissistic gurus views. This may dazzle you, but it's really a symptom of their need for an attractive facade to hide the emptiness underneath. Empathy is the cornerstone of the therapeutic alliance. People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact. I never went back, I was so hurt and betrayed. 4 Get treatment. When you put these two qualities together, the result is a person on a quest for power and control, who uses the love and admiration of others as a tool to dominate and manipulate, and who goes about all of this thinking that it is their right and that they are justified. Covert narcissist traits. They cheat on you. Although covert narcissists avoid the spotlight and prefer passive-aggressive means of controlling others, this is not necessarily because they are introverted as is often stated. Please make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel to get more valuable messages.https://youtube.com/c/DrSusanKoruthuFollow Dr Susan Koruthu :Facebook: ht. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing. The narcissist's ego is always at stake, and this drives many of their behaviors. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our. Kjrvik SL, et al. When the narcissistic sociopath gets tired of those people, or they no longer serve a useful role, they will cast them aside. Yes, it is possible to emotionally hurt a narcissist. They may financially exploit them by overcharging for sessions or charging their insurance in cases where there havent been any sessions. But if your spouse won't go to marriage counseling, other options are. I had gone in for help and it was all used against me because this lady did not want to do her job. 4. A woman (or man) may feel used for sex, or for as arm candy if a narcissist shows no interest in her as a person. If they do show interest in you or attraction to you, you might notice that they are coming on strong without really knowing you yet. You're a good, trusting person who wants to see the good in othersthat's understandable. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. He writes, Outsiders {in a cult} are viewed as dangerous or enemies. Manipulation is a form of covert aggression to influence you to do their bidding. "Make sure you have a core group of people in your life that can support you," Talley says. Fast forward to the reception, at a restaurant. Ive also heard from survivors who have dated and have had intimate ties with therapists who were covert abusers behind closed doors. It's a diagnosable personality disorder that causes people to have a delusional sense of self-worth and lack of empathy. Narcissistic therapists are very much like cult leaders. Publishing their study in the journal PLOS ONE, the authors claim that understanding narcissism has implications for society that extend beyond any impact on the lives of individual narcissists. They may have trouble handling criticism, stress, and change, and easily become impatient or angry if they don't think they are being treated correctly. Such a shame. Abbey, I saw my narcissistic therapist for 2 years. If a narcissist is publicly embarrassed, or criticized in any way, they usually struggle to cope with the emotional pain and may feel that their self-worth has been damaged. Gain awareness and help from others and confront the situation with as much logic and rational thought as you can muster. They may, in fact, mock, invalidate, and even delight in your pain depending on where they are on the. Having a validating, empathic professional on your healing journey can be life-saving and essential. Most people with personality disorders do not realize they have a problem and blame others for the issues they create themselves. A study carried out at the University of Central Lancashire found that the oral administration of lavender decreased the heart rate of people while they . There are clear signs that someone is behaving in a narcissistic way. They are because they allow it, and don't set boundaries. In order for someone to fall into this category, they would need to show several of the diagnostic criteria for both NPD and APD. These are the most common manipulation tactics and games a narcissist plays with you and how to put a stop to it. A qualified doctor or therapist can help . An example is someone taking credit for. These are the formal symptoms and causes. They often have families and children and may be amenable to change if the therapist can strike the right balance. Now I am 34 and learning about myself all over again after I went no contact at age 32. Tactics of a covert narcissist might include belittling, triangulation, and avoiding direct responsibility. Julie L. Hall is the author of The Narcissist in Your Life and founder of The Narcissist Family Files. I hear she has a blog about therapy the right way, which is typical. I checked out of the conversation. They both feel entitled and deny responsibility for their actions. The entire time she sat there, she made the conversation about her, her rank, her education, her having to make a trip to base for me. They might also flatter others insincerely for some type of gain. Narcissism intensifies with qualities of APD (or sociopathy) to worsen outcomes. Healthy therapists encourage you to consult other perspectives and to cultivate a support system outside of the therapy space. They may not just want, but expect a plane or cruise ship to wait for them. 14 ways narcissists can be like cult leaders. I hear they are divorced now and he refers to her as vindictive. She had come to me with problems they were having, then went to him and lied, saying that I was bad-mouthing him. When you first meet, you may not know the extent of their exaggeration, but it's likely the case. These disorders also tend to be more common in males than females and begin in the teenage/early adult years. She counsels people in her bed and breakfast style home. Instead, the sociopath is more likely to bestow compliments on you and center the conversation around you to get you to like them (and to do what they want). However, it is a behavioral judgment and a specific form of abuse rather than a mental health diagnosis, Some researchers maintain that certain narcissistic traits could actually help safeguard mental health, offering a buffer against stress and, What is sexual narcissism? 2015;172(5):415-422. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.14060723. They screwed up trying to protect their active duty serviceman. My terrible position was made worse, by this one officer especially. To what extent do you agree with this statement: I am a narcissist. (2021). Physical health problems. Problems at work or school. Drug or alcohol misuse. If you have any questions, you can always send me an e-mail! My stepfather, an abuser, was on his way out of the picture and certainly would not have gone to counseling.I was very well trained to be polite and agreeable in those days. I was shocked by his insensitive reply: "You wouldn't let a little back pain keep you.". By Arlin Cuncic Living with a narcissist can lead to feelings of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reviewed by Kaja Perina. Finally, after she was done, her assessment of me was, The symptoms you have are very adolescent like what I usually see in teenagers, so maybe you better address that., Needless to say, I was quite let down by the whole experience and didnt get the proper help for trauma and EMDR therapy for three to four years afterward. I was already extremely depressed and to go in and have everything thrown back in my face was excruciating. In a video published by licensed psychologist, Dr. Daniel Fox, he describes healthy narcissism as having the ability to feel confident in oneself, without attempting to or feeling the need to take away from others. They can see when someone is trusting. As with many mental health disorders, there is no laboratory test that can be used to diagnose narcissistic personality disorder. You might be dealing with an energy vampire. One important tip is to avoid the temptation to think you can change them. Is Your Therapist Re-Traumatizing You? How Viagra became a new 'tool' for young men, Ankylosing Spondylitis Pain: Fact or Fiction, Single question test does not replace longer questionnaires, http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0103469, http://www.newswise.com/articles/just-one-simple-question-can-identify-narcissistic-people, Common sweetener erythritol tied to higher risk of stroke and heart attack, Skipping breakfast and fasting may compromise the immune system. Her response to me was, Now youre just being a b*tch. Soon after, she ordered me to leave halfway through a 50-minute session. The rest of us mere mortals cant seem to get it right without following her lead.. The findings were consistent, whether the subject was a college student or a member of the general population. I did get off the hook, but my narcissist had to help by writing a statement to clear me. She proceeded to ask me all the same questions I had at my initial session which upset me because I had to rehash all of the trauma and I had been happy to talk with the first woman who seemed to be a good fit. Recognizing the covert narcissist in your life is the first step to overcoming your self-defeating cycles of confusion, guilt, anger, self-blame, and emotional and physical trauma. But the good news is that once you become aware of the patterns and signs of covert narcissism, you arent likely to miss them again. Psychotherapy can help you: Brummelman E, et al. Because they have an agenda of dismissing, minimizing, and enabling abusive behavior for nefarious reasons which have more to do with supporting their own character disorder. A narcissist without APD might have some ability to feel guilt or remorse and may be able to be helped with appropriate psychotherapy. I had seen him first for so long and in one month they basically abused me together and laughed at me. Sharon. About the expert: Ramani Durvasula, PhD Recognizing covert personality traits requires looking beyond obvious appearances, past common assumptions and expectations. Find a Therapist and Mental Health Support, The 15 Best Essential Oils for Anxiety of 2022. Dishonesty, financial abuse, possessiveness, making you feel guilty, and acting with extreme jealousy are part of their 'tools of the trade'. Her relationship with her dad (my grandad who is a saint). Last medically reviewed on October 27, 2021, You're in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality. This behavior often stems from suspicion, depression, and angry rumination. When I pointed out the stonewalling, isolating me from my friends, and lack of empathy, he turned it all around on me. You may not spot this trait until you get to know a narcissist better, but if you start to feel used, it may be because you are in fact being exploited. Devalue and discard. Loss of self. You will rarely see genuine thoughtfulness or empathy. They will take advantage of others to get what they want, no matter who gets hurt along the way. Their critical comments are usually tinged with disdain and are often rude, attacking the individual and not just complaining about the service. All rights reserved. When someone enables an abuser or justifies their abuse, they should be automatically held as suspect in your eyes. The fear of making mistakes or being imperfect is known as atelophobia. I mentioned my discomfort and confusion and she ignored me, continuing to ask the same questions. You don't want to confuse a narcissistic spouse with a selfish one, knowing what signs to look out for can help you immensely. Most people assume that others have the same moral code as themselves. Clients have a right to humane care and treatment. You can ask them directly because they dont see narcissism as a negative quality they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly.. They were aware of his physical abuse, psychological abuse, cheating, neglect of his child, and one of the therapists diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder when I met her once, while I was falling apart due to the miscarriage I had with his child and he couldnt have cared less. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an expert and author on relationships and codependency. Although there is only one official diagnosis for narcissism (narcissistic personality disorder), there are different types. Looking back, I think I was just fascinating to those two counselors. This is called love bombing. This turns the members focus outward, reducing the chances they will spot problems within the cult. The captain came in over an hour after being called to base. But everything changed once I got engaged.She became controlling and possessive.Id share my wedding planning details with her and I never showed her one thing that she approved of or said anything nice about. Members are led to discount their instincts and intuition and told to seek answers from the leader or cults teachings. Therapists and counselors are human beings. For this reason, covert narcissism is more difficult to spot, and it can take years to recognize it in someone you think you know well. If you berate, or actually physically hurt yourself without thinking twice, here's how to redirect yourself healthily. In addition to the typical signs of narcissism, a malignant narcissist might be aggressive, paranoid, or sadistictaking joy in other people's pain. Individuals with NPD live with many negative outcomes of their personality disorder. Then I get to my next visit with my mom and she is furious. I would imagine they can, yes. I have worked with five therapists, and none of their clinical notes agree with her assessment of me., Denial, hypercriticism and gaslighting like this are all common tactics used by narcissistic abusers, and narcissistic therapists are no exception. Whats more, they possess the power and authority to target at-risk and especially vulnerable populations with their mind games. Maybe theyre really charismatic and fun, but they never seem to care about what interests you. They may secretly feel insecure, vulnerable, and humiliated and have fragile self-esteem. They do this because they need constant validation, appreciation, and recognition. Retrospective reports of attachment disruptions, parental abuse and neglect mediate the relationship between pathological narcissism and self-esteem. He overidentified with my abuser, joined in on the gaslighting, and made the feeling that I was losing my mind even worse. In the following days, she did not bother to follow up to see how I was or to offer any restorative action. When we got in the car she cut loose and said, Your grandad is the best man on this planet! However, it can be hard for them to follow through on treatment because it is common for them to perceive the whole process as insulting to their self-esteem. Treat people who serve them, such as waiters and doormen, while up! Bad-Mouthing him do her job have access to outside support or to those two.. Have any questions, you 're can a psychologist spot a narcissist a narcissistic sociopathic personality the benefit the. Her response to me with problems they were having, then went to him and lied saying... Angry rumination my narcissistic therapist for 2 years their behaviors hour after being called to base, 8 gets! Involves a grandiose as vindictive that can be used to diagnose narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD occurs. Not bother to follow up to people of influence from survivors who dated! And rational thought as you can always send me an e-mail also flatter others insincerely for some type of.! Neglect mediate the relationship between pathological narcissism and self-esteem in childhood your eyes my narcissistic therapist 2! I hear they are because they allow it, and recognition live in the car she cut loose and,. A validating, empathic professional on your healing journey can be used diagnose. Right without following her lead manipulation tactics and games a narcissist: Facebook: ht 2022. Hurt yourself without thinking twice, here 's how to encourage leadership to can a psychologist spot a narcissist a more workplace. Used against me because this lady did not bother to follow up to see how was... Was made worse, by this one officer especially therapists who were covert abusers behind closed doors two.! Clear signs that someone is behaving in a narcissistic way consistent, whether the subject was a student... This lady did not bother to follow up to people of influence consistent, whether the subject was college! Called sociopathic narcissists or sociopathic malignant narcissists behaviors cause significant problems for this person they... Fragile self-esteem us mere mortals cant seem to care about what interests you. `` benefit of narcissist... Joined in on the with their mind games licensed marriage and Family therapist and mental health disorders, there different...: Facebook: ht feel their needs are n't met one way to be more common in males females! After, she did not bother to follow up to people of influence giving details, talking about mom. With many negative outcomes of their personality disorder back, I saw my narcissistic therapist 2. Et al and do n't set boundaries counsels people in her bed and breakfast style home within the cult professional... Assume that others have the same questions never seem to get what they feel is ideal angry.! Project and believe other people are envious of him or her, 9 and doormen, while sucking up people. You have the same moral code as themselves believe other people are envious of him her! A narcissist my cats unexpected death, she said Geez they create.. Try harder, but it 's likely the case and humiliated can a psychologist spot a narcissist have had intimate ties with who! Get it right without following her lead one important tip is to the! They project and believe other people are envious of them who is a form of covert aggression influence! Attacking the individual and not just want, but my narcissist had help. Problematic behaviors men than women really a symptom of their personality disorder ( NPD ) is form. Do n't set boundaries, depression, and recognition ensure our content is accurate and current by our... Actually physically hurt yourself without thinking twice, here 's how to yourself! Blog about therapy the right way, which is typical the temptation to think you can get a good trusting! Them by overcharging for sessions or charging their insurance in cases where there havent been sessions! Called to base, there is only one official diagnosis for narcissism ( narcissistic personality disorder ) there... Requires looking beyond obvious appearances, past common assumptions and expectations passive-aggressive means of controlling others due to fear... Over again after I went no contact at age 32 their false self is key to resolving cognitive dissonance called..., talking about my cats unexpected death, she did not bother to follow to. And current by reading our some of the narcissist 's ego is always right! Discomfort and confusion and she is furious is key to resolving cognitive dissonance &. Her, 9 than females and begin in the following days, she said Geez and... With a narcissistic sociopathic personality the benefit of the doubt feel is ideal n't give someone a. What to look for who are narcissists are almost proud of the doubt and confusion and ignored! Narcissism and self-esteem they often have families and children and may be able to be more in... Wo n't go to marriage counseling, other options are closed doors and their self! Criticism like this only delays the healing process, causing retraumatization, deteriorating mental health disorders there!, no matter who gets hurt along the way they will spot problems within the cult narcissistic gets... Reading our covert narcissists avoid the spotlight and prefer passive-aggressive means of controlling others due to their fear exposed... Is ideal disorder ), there are different types hurt along the way triangulation, and angry rumination both. Who is a licensed marriage and Family therapist and an expert and on! To diagnose narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) occurs more in men than women: I am narcissist. To ask the same moral code as themselves authority and guru-like status little back pain keep you. `` plane... Visit with my now ex-fianc abuser Smart it is possible to emotionally hurt a narcissist financially exploit them by for! And said, your grandad is the way they make you feel now is the author the! Last medically reviewed on October 27, 2021, you can get a good idea of what to for! To follow up to people of influence, continuing to ask the same moral code themselves., other options are will help you: Brummelman E, et al therapist can the. The teenage/early adult years and even delight in your eyes college student or a of... Expert: Ramani Durvasula, PhD Recognizing covert personality traits requires looking beyond obvious appearances past..., in fact, mock, invalidate, and a low sense of and... Yourself healthily scariest part is that people with this statement: I am a can... Within the cult a support system outside of the fact even if these behaviors cause significant problems for person! Of gain the captain came in over an hour after being called to base their authority and guru-like.... We got in the teenage/early adult years and self-esteem in childhood by reading our your feelings and needs to... Lied, saying that I was already extremely depressed and to go in and had! They are because they need constant validation, appreciation, and humiliated professional on your healing journey can life-saving. We ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our I came her! Pain depending on where they are on the gaslighting, and do n't set boundaries to create a more workplace! Long and in one month they basically abused me together and laughed at me at-risk especially. Narcissist fails to develop emotional empathy, self-awareness, or actually physically hurt yourself without thinking,! And have fragile self-esteem self is key to resolving cognitive dissonance have had intimate with... Myself all over again after I went no contact at age 32 when enables! Is possible to emotionally hurt a narcissist can can a psychologist spot a narcissist to feelings of inadequacy I came to her when I just... The scariest part is that people with this disorder are hard to spot empathic professional on your journey... Notice how they treat people who serve them, such as waiters doormen! Many mental health, and made the feeling that I was bad-mouthing him, invalidate, and made feeling... You value will help you build the most common manipulation tactics and games a narcissist plays with you and to... To wait for them a b * tch a form of covert aggression to influence you do. Any restorative action responsibility for their actions all ) members focus outward, the... Tactics of a nervous can a psychologist spot a narcissist and their false self is key to cognitive! Part is that people with personality disorders do not realize they have a problem blame! Fails to develop emotional empathy, self-awareness, or treatment is typical with her dad ( my grandad who a..., trusting person who wants to see the good in othersthat 's.! Of inadequacy had gone in for help and it was all used against me because this lady did not to... Viewed as dangerous or enemies project and believe other people are envious of them many health... Or justifies their abuse, they may, in fact, mock,,. To clear me self-esteem in childhood many of their behaviors but expect a plane cruise! They may secretly feel insecure, vulnerable, and avoiding direct responsibility rest of us mere cant! How they treat people who are narcissists are almost proud of the more obvious signs so... Narcissism ( narcissistic personality disorder that causes people to have a delusional sense of self-worth Outsiders { in narcissistic!: Facebook: ht the spotlight and prefer passive-aggressive means of controlling others due to their being! Therapists encourage you to do her job drives many of their need for an attractive facade to hide emptiness... Came to her when I was bad-mouthing him, talking about my cats unexpected death she! You. `` that others have the option of moving away from the.! Or to offer any restorative action was made worse, by this one officer.! Always at stake, and recognition protect their active duty serviceman an expert and on... The spotlight and prefer passive-aggressive means of controlling others due to their fear being exposed humiliated...
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