about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. Like your man, my girl would often text me while she was out, telling me she was thinking of me. the next morning he said he was wasted with a bunch of his friendsand hes not the type to cheat on a girl, but who know what can happen when their drunk you know? Of course, you dont need to know where the other person is or what he/she is doing ALL OF THEE TIME, but just letting me know once in a while is harmless. J. my opinion but it isn't for us. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. going out alone indicates infedlity " potentially" or alcoholism. Me and my boyfriend have talked about how we felt several times that we trust eachother so much to the point where if i dont talk to him for three days and i know hes at some crazy parties, i wont feel so worried and we trust each other so much that we both openly said that we could kiss other people if we wanted because truly we both know it wouldnt be real and that we love each other. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. I remember when i had doubts about my boyfriend, i was really scared to tell him because i was afraid that it might get him upset or **** off and make it seem like i dont trust him. But I've certainly made myself a margarita at home alone :) If I were to do that, or my husband were to do that, I personally would think that's odd -- or 'something' is up (due to our personalities, not because we don't trust one another). I guess I J. don't see how going to a bar solo and getting into situations where there's lots of alcohol, music and men are hitting on you/questioning your relationship can be very good at all for your current relationship. So I was worried and then I went to find him, then I did and he told me to leave. Over time the concern faded as I learned to trust her and she never violated that trust. So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. Because, I 100% trust him and hes a good dude. How many people have you slept with in your life?? It makes me panic. Anyways, tonight he is going out with his buddy (whom I have met) and he let me know. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . It would be nice, thats why its called a relationship! answers from Chicago on October 30, 2008. What I'd really prefer though is to go out with a few drinks with HIM! I go to a bar every once in a while, for a drink , by myself. He will even grab people and tell them to go dance with M.. Its actually funny the looks he gets from people when he does it. You have to trust that he's just enjoying the company of his bros: drinking beers, talking smack and telling dirty jokes. He knows I'll come home relaxed and happy. :) Turd. But when I'm home, I'm usually out with himbecause I miss him! But this is volunteer. No. It doesn't seem like he is sticking around for you. Yes, crazy to let someone else's actions that do not directly affect you upset you. I don't understand how people have a problem with hanging out and not to flame here, at least to M., it screams insecurity. To M. that is not a friendship. Even though I know he wouldn't just the thought of my boyfriend getting drunk worries me that he will make a bad decision. Not all of your friends or theirs will definitely be in relationships at the same time, so it's not necessarily a red flag if they plan dinner out with one of their single friends, but if hanging out with their single friends without you starts taking priority over spending time with you, that might mean that something is wrong. We are comfortable with each other and trust each other 100%!! When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. Get a shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him. We are all the product of our experiences. With us its always all good because we know with who, where and why the other person is going out. Rizzoli & Isles is an American crime drama series based on the novels by Tess Gerritsen, starring Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander as the respective title characters. 2) Your boyfriend texts you the whole time..that's great! If a guy is going to cheat on you, he doesn't have to go to the bar to do it. Do I do that without my SO? If I'm going to go out it will be with my SO. honey, if you are not doing anything you are not sopossed to to, then dont give it another thought. Well, people who babysit seem to be scarce where we live so yes we go out to bars with friends and not each other. But don't be anxious, you are good enough and I'm sure he loves you like you love him. Yes I allow my husband to go out without M. no matter the gender. Opioids are a class of drugs that are commonly prescribed for the management of pain. My husband LOVES when I take off to the pub for a pint and a good read. "But if your partner has started going out more and leaving you at home, that could indicate that they've got one foot out the door. My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. I've never been into the bar scenebut my fiancee doesn't get upset if I want some "M." time. He would not even go somewhere like that without M. J. cause that's who he is. We've been going there for about 3 months now. But don't assume the moment he steps out the door all women's panties just fly off. Sorry, but I think that's wrong. S H said it great, however i would add that the only way i go out is either with "the girls" or with my husband. I don't seek them out for conversation or flirt with them. I do not care at all. Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me? Also, my bf will flirt with girls, and I find out about it the next daythis doesn't make me too happy. I thought this was an interesting point of view, and it made sense because women are in touch with the emotional side of attraction more than men are. My friends are like family to M. and I get so much warmth and strength from them. I think if your spouse or boyfriend does mind you doing that, that is what is important.not what others think. Tell him you also have a good time there even when you cannot wait to see him again. but again, i think you're in a completely different place. blissfulblue yes i need a kick in the butt tonight! SO he was not to be trusted. It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. So she keeps sending snapchats.. but wont text/call me. I had to sleep with him I was his wife, she chose to sleep with M.. Effed up but true. Just calming say you will be "going out tonight/the weekend" for some fun with friends, he can enjoy himself with his. We trust each other. Some people trust because they are good people and lack experience and it's just the right thing to do. L143myself He missed work yesterday because he got drunk and another thing is that he didn't call me all day. Not my style. call M. old fashion, but have not been to a bar with my husband or with out in 15 years. Its not in my personality to go to a bar alone.but I have gone out to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL. But even if I could go out it wouldn't be to a bar. You met him at a bar. SO to your question. Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. At first i let him do it until thats all he would do and i barely got to spend time with him. So I'm thinking all of you ladies would think I was bad. Does He Wish To End It? Karmic Relationships: What They Are & When To Leave, According To Experts, 5-Ingredient Meals That Everyone In The Family Will Love, 30 Women's History Month Facts That'll Remind You How Badass Women Are, 8 Black-Owned Parenting & Baby Brands To Try, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. It is just very hard, because I am deathly afraid of being cheated on. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. =). I talked to him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work. ahhh thats the one=) I haven't been there since January so it was a nice change. I am ok with him going once a week as long as it is only guys. "Whereas happy, committed couples tend to spend more time with couple friends and doing things together. But everyone has different needs, and desires. I know it might be a challenge but just say hey i love you a lot but im feeling a little troubled lately. So..your unease, even if you DIDN'T have a bad experience from before, is understandable. An adult, should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations. "met" virtually.). So, on both ends of things, no worries. He asked for nothing in return. She dumped me for a guy she met there one night. I feel for you too. So I spend quite a lot of time with people who are not part of my nuclear family. You need to have confidence and break up with him, move on with your life and be with someone that actually appreciates you. He TEXTS YOU while he's OUT WITH THE BOYS?! Well, honestly, he only goes once every week-2 weeks. :). Be Patience: The most important thing after communicating is remembering to be patient. I truly don't need the attention to feel good. agirlwithnoname While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. Instead, men should conduct themselves. He goes to bed without me (20 f) now and we sleep back to back. pastoralcucumbers HE needed the excitement is what he told M.. But understand that it is an opportunity for something to happen because you are specifically putting yourself in that situation. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. help!!! Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. Smackin' The ex's butt toward swinging floor. nah. S.H I agree completely. I wouldn't like the kind of relationships you are talking about, being with people(men or women) that I don't know well or interact with regularly. xx. I started to get upset. My husband has a music studio where he produces musicians so he is particularly respectful when he is conducting business and always makes certain I am comfortable without any craziness on my part. I can tell you as a man, that he appreciates that, it shows trust, it shows that you are trying to grow in the relationship, and it shows that you love and care that he take time for himself. If my husband wanted to go, I would have to put any twinge of jealousy or insecurity I might have away. I am not sure what the inside of a bar looks like nowadays.We J. don't go anyway. **Updated, Discussion-Having Single Friends When Married. Doesn't bother M.. Now, if he were encouraging sexual relationships with other people I WOULD be bothered. https://www.mamapedia.com/article/question-for-married-women-only, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/my-hubby-do-not-let-me-go-out-when-i-wanna-have-a-girl-night-outwhy, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/poll-on-men-and-frienships-w-women, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-guys-just-be-friends-with-girls-updated, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-men-and-women-be-friends-2673, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/discussion-dash-having-single-friends-when-married, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/opinions-on-having-guy-friends. But it got old. You still can have friends. Kelly1988 My Long Distance Girlfriend won't video call with me. We asked if we could use the gift certificate right then for lunch and still get the $5 off coupon. He had a boyfriend, and as far as I knew, he was just being nice. Or am I just being silly? The alternative is to . my boyfriend and i are long distance and i'm in college. Luckily, we have every other weekend to ourselves when our kids are at our ex's house. My husband occasionally goes out with friends for a round of golf and then to a bar afterwards, I've never really given it much thought but I also trust him and am not worried. I'm literally going through the exact situation. and yea i dont agree with how much he is going out and getting drunk. Commitment has nothing to do, with restricting another person. That being said we aren't glued at the hip and I am not his mother, so if he wants to hang out with his buddies or I want to go out with my friends for a girls night, neither of us has a problem with it. I arrived alone and I left alone. I think as long as a couple is totally happy and equal that's all that matters. He stays out all night and turns the ringer off, pfffft. That's called a rule change. Maybe you happen to have a lot of bi-sexual friends. I think there is a huge difference when hanging out with friends is taking up more time than hanging out with family. You know when you are dating someone who cares and you know when you are dating a player. You have to trust him because you have no choice. I can't trust him at all anymore he lies too much and he drunk all the time and he doesn't care about anything especially me and I also hate the fact that he says we are not together and I have a one month probation with him. It would be one thing if your SO is telling you where you can and cannot go. :). If you go to meet other guys, yeah, big problem. He is the most amazing person in the world and I just don't know what to do. 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