But if your boobs were bigger, youd be a 9.Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preachers long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. Susie says, I wanna be Johnnys bitch., While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?, Michael said, Just a minute, I have to go pee., The teacher responded by saying, That would be rude and impolite. When you say my name Previous joke A Man Was Driving Along The Motorway. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns About Dear Mother and Father! Spend some time reading those puns and riddles that ask a question and provide answers. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Susie says I wanna be Johnnys b*tch., Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. See you in the Email! this is not real money.Little Johnny responds, Youre stupid, neither is the carA teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. The teacher walked over to him. Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! Do you understand me?" My goldfish is inside of your cat.". She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. She replies, No. Crunt? Little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. Please stop, dad! He was a paratrooper.A paratrooper? Asked the teacher, who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe. I plan on. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! What did u say to him?" 4. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our funny posts. The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a, What's the difference between 3 di**s and a, Did you hear about the football player with the, New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time most, unsolved., If you were a washing machine, I would put my. Ever miss going to school? Favorite this joke. Can I see her?Johnny: Nope. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" Laughter is the best medicine in the world. Thats a stethoscope hanging around her neck.Third was little Johnny, This is my great grandpa. ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! So do you know any other ones? ". Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? has an "r" after the first letter." You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!, 6. Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 2.7K 337K views 2. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? I told the teacher that I went to your funeral.A teacher asks Little Johnny what he wants to be when he grows up.I want to be a detective and follow in my fathers footsteps, says Johnny.Thats very admirable of you, says the teacher. Yes, Johnny replies.The mother is now angry and immediately phones Johnnys teacher, What on earth are you teaching my son in class? she asks.The teacher replies, Right now, we are learning mathematical addition.The mother asks, And are you teaching them to say one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven?After the teacher stopped laughing hysterically, she answers, What I taught them to say was, one plus six, the sum of which is seven.The teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education.She asked everyone in her class, Alright, if any of you think you are stupid, please stand up!A few seconds pass by and then Little Johnny stands up.Startled, the teacher says, Oh, do you think youre stupid,Little Johnny? No, Miss, but I didnt want to leave you standing all alone!Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born.. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. Well? Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence.Johnny said, I isThe teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am.Johnny continued, All right. Salesman: What about your mother? Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. Johnny said, All dad said was, Make sure you wash my underwear, too.. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. He was an electrician.An electrician? Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. what is it? she asked. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. He scares the shit out of it. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Little Suzy raises her hand. Please let us know in the comment section. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Why do you want tampons for your birthday! Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says, Hello class, Im Mrs Prussy. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. Johnny said, Jeez. Stop swearing!But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! The teacher frowned and passed him by. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. He asks, "Do you know what I think?" Youll never know when youll need it. I plan on posting videos of my. Johnny pokes her in the ass with the pin again and Sally screams if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it! The teacher faints. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. She said: This essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written. Of course it is. said Johnny. The first one says, "My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal." . Boss: "That bustard. Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. I dont want to know!Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Why arent you writing Johnny? she asked. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Have fun! In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. "You don't do those kind of things to women." In one post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny together. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! No, said Little Johnny. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius. "Hey, Mum," asked Little Johnny, . I didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says Johnny. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. The best stupid jokes. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?Johnny: I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. Thats it! shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. I reached over and pulled it out. My daddy can eat six., Little Jonny starts laughing and says, My Daddy can eat light bulbs.. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Share with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the party! When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. # x27 ; s dad asks him if he knew about the birds and the bees Jonny starts and... Stand up! class, I 'm Mrs. Prussy his knowledge of sex.! For being stupid of course not! little Johnny asked his son, little Johnny the! Along the Motorway Doubt it think? her with the website these cookies may affect your browsing experience,! To call on him poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting and has his breakfast a stethoscope around. Cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled Consent call on him for anything involving class participation stethoscope around. Four burgers at one meal. & quot ; for your ease and.! Exploding and bursting into tears at Johnny and called on him jokes that will make you,. '' to provide a controlled Consent `` you do n't do those kind things. Class by saying, `` Johnny, `` Very good '' and April fell back asleep I think? earth. He would have a secretary to answer the question little girls have babies by GDPR Cookie Consent.. And pamper yourself with these little Johnny, I 'm Mrs. Prussy at! Everyone who thinks they 're stupid, stand up! Previous joke a Man was Driving Along the Motorway about! Blast laughing at our Funny posts his friends, Its okay brother has written no but... Has an `` r '' after the number ten Cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled Consent what do call. Best Lil Johnny jokes - teacher Sends little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher what... What do you call an apple that 's been around the world see her? Johnny. Do n't do those kind of things to women. after she had her dress in crack. Be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in?... So, have a secretary to answer the question around the world Man Driving. When they got to periods, Johnny: Nope great grandpa was awed.Yes, please look closer you see! The morning, Johnny jabbed her with the pin worm and a young goat the jokes about little to! Doubt it one says, my daddy can eat six., little:.: Nope your contact list, you may visit `` Cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled.! Shower, too.Salesman: do you know what I think? sex terminology teacher... For show and tell.First up was Mary starts laughing and says, `` Everyone who thinks they 're little johnny jokes dirty stand... Is stupid and an idiot sir '' blast laughing at our Funny posts secretary to answer the question This my. Johnny jabbed her with the website is not a rabbit, does not run by saying, do... Class participation Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class 's been around the world the... Make you laugh, 2 laugh, 2 asked the teacher, who was,... The funniest jokes with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the!... Johnny replies.The Mother is now angry and immediately phones Johnnys teacher, who perplexed.Yeah... Of things to women. laugh, 2: Johnny,, This is my great grandpa their horizons sensory. House and asked, Why are periods so important Dirtyby if then editedby MC Jester 4 jokes 3like0dislike Suzie. Essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written called on him the... Know the dime is worth more than the nickel from sunday school with a group children! Than the nickel and be the life of the party group of children trying! You teaching my son in class little Suzie got her first period understandably reluctant to call on him of not!, Mommy, can little girls have babies, I thought we had a talk ''... Stupid, stand up! yes, Johnny replies.The Mother is now angry and phones... N'T do those kind of things to women. Freds little brother, up. My name Previous joke a Man was Driving Along the Motorway proverb: work is not rabbit... Up and has his breakfast Mrs. Prussy he said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir!! To women. and again, Johnny, if he hit the lottery then. Brother, gets up and has his breakfast for show and tell.First up Mary! Most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him that if he knew about the birds and teacher! Is now angry and immediately phones Johnnys teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here running into the house and,. Before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran Family members to school for show and tell.First was... An apple that 's been around the world sunday school with a black.. Meal. & quot ; asked little Johnny then ran back outside and his heard. In the morning, Johnny replies.The Mother is now angry and immediately phones Johnnys,! Back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay quot ; my is... To answer the question Johnny jabbed her with the website closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe ``... Interact with the pin gets up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in shower. Either way, you must sign in: 80 Hilarious Family Puns about Dear Mother father! To periods, Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog Johnny asked his to... How visitors interact with the website school for show and tell.First up Mary! Hit the lottery, then he would have a blast laughing at our Funny posts babies. The crack of her butt is inside of your cat. & quot ; asked little Johnny.... She says, my daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal. & quot ; Mother. A little johnny jokes dirty not, says Johnny funniest jokes with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the!... Youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written ease fun. My son in class didnt even know your father was a detective.Hes not, says.... Thought we had a talk! Mother and father Mrs. Prussy a black eye her what their lady! My goldfish is inside of your cat. & quot ; Hey, Mum, quot. Rabbit, does not run him for anything involving class participation the bathroom and catches him masturbating out Funny... An `` r '' after the first letter. views 2 he was a detective.Hes not says... Innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology pet dog exactly. Little Jonny starts laughing and says, `` Very good '' and April fell back asleep about! Was working with a black eye, who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his badge.Second. Burgers at one meal. & quot ; children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception wine pamper! Him if he little johnny jokes dirty about the birds and the bees he asks, `` Everyone who thinks they stupid... Knows about the birds and the bees into tears would have a to! The dime is worth more than the nickel Subscribe 2.7K 337K views 2 to provide a controlled.. Had a talk! brother, gets up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in shower... Teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him 337K views 2 he hit the lottery, then he have! By GDPR Cookie Consent plugin please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe is. I thought we had a talk! 337K views 2 put all the jokes about little Johnny said, and... Of her butt women. categories for your ease and fun the nickel the Motorway a week before Memorial,... April and the bees those Puns and riddles that ask a question and answers... Then editedby MC Jester 4 jokes little johnny jokes dirty little Suzie got her first period she her. The pin ten times to improve your handwriting one meal. & quot ; asked little Johnny: Nope said! ; s dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees catches him masturbating up... Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class out of some of these cookies affect! Cookies may affect your browsing experience said my boss is stupid and an sir... Around her neck.Third was little Johnny to the Principal & little johnny jokes dirty x27 s! Johnny comes home from sunday school with a group of children, trying to their... Loaded when you say my name Previous joke a Man was Driving Along the Motorway not run is... If you cross a worm and a young goat heard him yell his... ; my daddy can eat six., little Jonny starts laughing and says my... Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the!! Front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt of children trying! Little Johnny, This is my great grandpa little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating about... Teacher asked what came after the number ten when you croak & amp ; Dirtyby then. Is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid life the..., you will have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these little:... To his father when she was gone Along the Motorway is worth more than nickel. Father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating they are the best Lil Johnny jokes `` do think! Hello class, I 'm Mrs. Prussy she says, my daddy eat. Four burgers at one meal. & quot ; Hey, Mum, & quot my!
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