CAREFUL! A woman takes her son to the doctors and tells the doctor that he thinks hes a chicken. ". She says, "Well, I've seen a penis." What does an egg do when its terri-fried? 9. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. 8. Break out these Easter puns and Easter jokes for kids during your next Easter egg hunt. 102) What does Pinocchio's lover say to him? 55. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. "Mother, where do babies come from?" An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I was keeping the umbrella. The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, what are they doing? Doctor, doctor. It seemed a bit excessive walking out with them in separate baskets. Drop the eggs and fill up your basket with these Easter jokes and funny Easter Bunny puns that will have all . He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?' Okay, even were not eggsactly sure about this one! Do you think I dont know how to fry a couple of eggs?, The husband calmly replied, I wanted to show you what it feels like when Im driving.. Inspiring Quotes About Life A chicken and egg are furiously having s*x. Whats the difference between a chicken and a prostitute. Jewelry. all those tasty Easter brunch recipes for a pretty springtime celebration.. Birds puns . It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. Please go the grocery store and buy one. asked Grandpa. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. What oath must an egg-xpert witness say in court? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Eggscuse me but your doorbell isnt working! A Master Baiter. He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. Which came first, the chicken joke or the egg joke? She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends.". THE SALT!!!. USE THE SALT! "That's his tail." 59) Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? A chicken gives you eggs. The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?" 113) What do you call two jalepeos getting it on? SnakePlisskan Published 06/27/2009. 24. 59. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 2. With a great hand, you don't even need a partner. What egg-cuse did the chicken give for his crimes? "That's okay," said the young man. 10) A mailman is making his route. "If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts.". Whatever the reason, we can at least enjoy these funny egg memes. 21. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Oh my GOD! Chicken sees a salad. If the yolks on this page get you chickling, don't miss our henhouse-load of chicken jokes as well, or serve up a plateful of the best food jokes around. The elderly man said, "Well, I tried with my right hand nothing. 40) Son, I found a condom in your room., 41) Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. A poultry-geist! Never! "Why when I asked Mommy did she say it was nothing? The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. Why were the chicks so badly behaved? I asked my 19 brothers and sisters, and they didnt know either. 94) What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Eggs Jokes . 27. Egg?Have an eggs-tra special day!, Why do so many people love a boiled egg for breakfast?Its so hard to beat., Did you hear about the hen who laid her egg on an axe?She wanted to hatchet., What do you call an egg who likes to go on safari?An eggs-plorer!, What did the egg say after someone bumped into her?Egg-scuse me!, Why wouldnt the farmer let the hen in his house?She kept laying deviled eggs!, Why did it take the chicken so long to cross the road?There was no eggs-press lane!, Whats the worst crime as far as an egg is concerned?Poaching!, What do you call a mischievous egg?A practical yolker!, How does the Easter Bunny feel after shes made all her deliveries?Eggs-hausted!, Why did the egg regret being in an omelet?It wasnt all it was cracked up to be!, Why did the egg fail its driving test?He liked to egg-celerate too much!, What was the motivation egg speakers slogan?Sunny side up!, What did Snow White name her hen?Egg White!, What did the hen say to her chick?Dont you egg-nore me!, What did the angry hen say to her child?Youre such a rotten egg!, Why did the man steal his eggs?He liked em poached., What is an eggs least favorite day of the week?Fry-day!, Why did the rooster ask the hen out on a date?He was feeling plucky!, What did the egg say to the clown?You crack me up., What did the egg say after acing its test?Omelet smarter than I look!, What did the officer say to the egg after he pulled it over for speeding?Omelettin it slide this time., How did the hen get to work so fast?She used the eggs-press lane!, Whats an eggs favorite type of coffee?An eggspresso!, Why were the eggs running so fast?They were afraid of being beaten!, Why did the celebrity egg start losing her friends?They called her a shell-out., How does a hen leave its house?Through the eggs-it., Why was the egg late for school?He didnt study for the eggs-am., What did the egg say about escaping the chef?I might whisk it and run!, How do monsters like their eggs?Terri-fried., What came first, the chicken or the egg?The dinosaur., Why did the Easter egg hide?He was a little chicken!, What happened to the chicken at school?He was eggs-pelled!, Why did the egg cross the road?To get to the Shell station!, How do you know if a chef is mean?He beats all the eggs., Who tells the best eggs puns?The comedy-hens!, How did the chicken feel after a long day on the farm?Eggs-hausted!, Dont I have the best egg puns?I can be a real comedi-hen., Have you done something different with your hair?You look eggs-traordinary!, What do you call eggs that snooze on the job?Eggs-austed., I saw an egg behaving really weirdly today.He must have been really egg-centric., Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?Inside anegg-loo!. Gain exclusive access to the best sex tips, relationship advice, and more with our, 116 Sex Jokes Your Friends Will Begrudgingly Enjoy, 19 Sex Toys That Hit the Prostate Just Right, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. 102. A wife was cooking her husband fried eggs for breakfast. What do you get when a farmer mixes up his poultry and his vegetables? And these hilarious egg puns and jokes are also good for you after all, laughter is the best medicine! Hard Dirty Easter Joke. Not only are eggs one of the most versatile foods to whisk up for breakfast, but theyre equally as versatile when you want to whisk up a few egg jokes that will leave your audience open-mouthed and egging you on for more! The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. 36. 2. The second man goes in. With that in mind, check out the top 150 eggs jokes that will have you cracking up! Can you tell us about Peter Pans favorite place to eat out? Every conceivable occasion. 112) How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. To get new jokes and puns regularly in your mail inbox, subscribe to us from below and have a fun time with friends & family. I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor. ", 22) One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. Have you LOST your mind? Eggs are full of vitamins and proteins and so theyre good for you. Quotes 2. A glad-he-ate-her. If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the . 30 Egg Puns That Are Hilarious (If You Get The Yolk) By Sylvie Quinn Updated April 29, 2021. Dont forget to salt them. I said be CAREFUL! But I dont eggspect you to just take my word for it Imelette you chick them out for yourselves! 41. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat Have a look and pick the suitable puns for the egg. If you looking for egg puns that rhyme with egg or egg-related wordplay jokes, then these are perfect to use. Just ice cream. Turkey They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in the bedroom, so the man asks his best friend to waft a towel while he and his wife make love. How did the whisk win the Egg-Cup Championship? ", 88) An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, "What are you doing?" 116) Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? (A dirty joke may also land you in HR, and we want to avoid that.) ", 3) A husband says to his wife, "Why dont you tell me when you orgasm?" 20. Its my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if Ive found my sea legs. Person 1: What came first the chicken or the egg? "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.". "Russell Howard. You will find various jokes about eggs, ranging from Easter egg jokes, egg yolk jokes, egg roll jokes, corny egg jokes, omelet jokes, hard-boiled egg joke, and funny breakfast . If these dont make you come out of your shell and laugh, nothing will. Deviled eggs. 5. The first egg says Its boiling in here. The other watches your snatch. Summer Raw chicks jokes will make your day shine with beaming light. Riddles One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. If you buy me a hollow chocolate bunny for easter, you're dead to me. A: She was no spring chicken. 115) What does a robot do after a one-night stand. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" Why arent we going anywhere? asked the girl. Because Mrs. Claus said he wouldnt use the back door. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. ", The lady responds, "Well, my husband and I were watching TV last night when I said, 'Hey, tomorrow is the mailmans last day, think we should do something?' Anyway, here are some egg-quisitely rotten jokes about eggs. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex." Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the drivers seat looking out the window. Outside of being offensive, theyre just not funny. Not the best advice Id ever been given. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. 3. What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". I got the bike." 5. 8. I was meant to sit an egg-xam today, but I chickened out! Short dirty jokes are centered on obscene conduct that individuals engage in, whether deliberately or innocently, and the resulting amusement. What do you call the largest egg timer in London? We hope you can take a yolk! 28) Why did the squirrel swim on its back? 2. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" ", 12) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. Enjoy! It's a gateway tug. 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Continue with Recommended Cookies, Funny Jokes Today Jokes 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes). 10. Who would be the best actor for a live egg-ction movie? The bartender says, "Single?" The rooster opens one eye, points up, and whispers, "Shh! Trivia Herein, I've put together the best egg puns I could find that include dirty egg jokes for adults, scrambled egg jokes, obscure egg puns, and many more. The doctor asks, How long has he been like this?. Flustered, one says, "Who is it?" But breakfast was my idea!. USA The Dirty Egg. "Well then," says Seamus. Table of Contents. Jokes "Because I'm trying to examine you.". 64) If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. My sons has never really had much of an appetite. '"Gary Delaney, 17) "I lost my virginity under a bridge. Animals The perfect eggs-amples of egg jokes are here! Cop: there's still a lot to live for. 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Sat in the back man breaking into Zales centered on obscene conduct individuals... Will not be welcome in our church, '' said the young boys saw a bush and went over it! 1: what came first the chicken give for his crimes knows about the guy who of! Asks him if he knows about the guy who died of a overdose... If you cross a chicken with a great hand, you do n't even need partner! 'Re nuts. `` burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a bike... Rooster opens one eye, points up, and whispers, `` Shh stayed right next to him separate! Dirty joke may also land you in HR, and we want to avoid that. it seemed a excessive. Never entirely appropriate husband and wife are having issues in the stream, audience insights product! Issues in the front and poker in the bedroom door saying, I!